Homecomin'.

4:56 PM - Waiting at Suvarnibhumi airport in Bangkok.

Been waiting for about 2 hours, and I have roughly 5 more hours until I board the plane. As great as this airport is, I'm friggin bored.

The past few days have been an emotional rollercoaster. First, the girls from the Community Public Health program left before us because their program was over before ours. Paola, Kamila, Claire... Miss you girls so much.

This was literally the only picture I could find with all 3 of you guys. xD

Then, when we did our evaluations of the program, it allowed me lots of time to reflect on my entire experience. It has certainly had its ups and downs, but overall, I'm so, so grateful that I had the opportunity to experience everything I experienced. This program not only showed me issues that Thailand is facing, but also, it allowed me to grow personally and develop new skills that I certainly wouldn't have obtained had I not gone on this program. For example, when would I have the opportunity to faciltiate a group and then get feedback on my performance? Hell, where else would I have a safe space to even get feedback about myself from people that really care about me? Also, all the research skills and ways of thought/new perspectives I've gained from the awesome, awesome people on my program as well as the villagers and ajaans that we had the opportunity to get close to has been something I've really cherished. And I think this development and personal growth can continue from here on out; I feel like I have the tools and knowledge to continue the learning process that I've started here in Thailand. Oh, yeah, and not to mention my Thai skillz. Hell yeah.

So anyway, day before yesterday, we celebrated the end of the program with all of us and our closest Thai friends. At arguably the most trashy (shall we say?) club in Khon Kaen.

I mean, no study abroad experience is complete without one of those nights.

And yesterday, we had a Quaker circle, where all of us (students, staff, program facilitators) sat in a circle and said whatever was on our mind. It was really nice to hear everyone's kind of "closing statement" if you will, including the ajaans. In mine, I told the story of how Ajaan Jeab called me when I was back in the states to check up on my Thai knowledge... And I totally tweaked out and couldn't speak Thai at all. But now, I totes can, and that could be a metaphor for all the other personal growth I've experienced -- I feel like I have the strength and strategies to do all the things I thought I couldn't do (what up, SESP optimism!). I kind of broke down when Ajaan John was retelling the story of how he was climbing up the mountain in Phetchabun with me, Katie, and Lindy and how accomplished he felt after keeping up with the ridiculously fast pace of the Wildlife Refugee guy. Then I for real lost it when Maddie lost it and when Ajaan May said, "Time flies when you're having fun." Good times indeed.

So then, JBO had to leave early because her flight was at 1 AM in BKK... So that was rough for all of us, as she is such a great, vital part of that group and brought a lot of insight to everything we did. Plus, she was the first person I got close to in Thailand, so.

Next, we had our farewell dinner. Yes, I cried up a storm, not gonna lie. It was especially bad when my best Dao Din friend, roomie, and Claire's roomie came and gave me gifts. I just absolutely lost it. We had to say goodbye to Katie, who was going to travel around Thailand with her mom (who has an amazing Minnesotan accent!), which was tough for me since we worked on both of our final projects together and had homestays during unit 4 and 5 together. Later in the night, we had to say goodbye to Abby (my first homestay roomie~) and Jake which just brought on more tears. We also had to say goodbye to all of the ajaans as well. I feel like that part really got to me because I feel like I didn't fully appreciate them and everything they did for us over the past semester.

Fall 2010 with all the ajaans, what up.

After that, I called a number of people saying goodbye (some of the other Dao Din kids, Orm, my aunt, host family in Sisaket, and my Thai professor). This morning, I finished packing and took all the bedding, my phone, and keys to Ajaan May, which really cemented it for me. Wow. I'm leaving. Most of our roomies came to see us off, and Fai said something that really struck me: "We'll see each other again; we live on the same world." I don't know why that struck me so hard. I almost lost it again when my roomie gave me a hug and sent me off. Seriously, that girl is a superhero. She drove me back and forth from the laptop repair shop when my hard drive crashed, she basically taught me how to read and write in Thai better, she was always there to give support and to listen to me, she was always ready to have extensive k-pop discussions with me even if it was 4 AM, and she is just so, so full of joy and life. Okay, Emily, stop tearing up at the waiting area in the airport now...

So Sam, Maddie, Brett, Alex, Bryant, and I headed off to Bangkok this morning with Na'Am, our resident van-driver (who also drove me to the Faculty of Humanities like every morning to go to Thai and is pretty much a badass). Not gonna lie, I slept the entire time. Highways and plane rides just knock me right out, idk. But finally, when we got to BKK, we all said our goodbyes. It was so hard to see everyone go their separate ways, and I almost lost it again.

So that brings me to here. I'm ridiculously emotional right now, so... yeah. Will update later after I find an outlet for my laptop. Really hope I don't have any crying babies sitting beside me or old women groping me this time.

7:43 AM - Tokyo/Narita airport

I ended up getting "Girl with the Dragon Tattoo" in the bookstore in Bangkok for funsies. Also got my last meal in Thailand (pineapple and guava, yessss). Now I get to wait for another 4 hours until I board the plane to sweet home Chicago and then sweet actual home Asheville after that. I'm supposed to be getting home at 4PM on the 19th, and it's currently 7:45 AM on the 19th here in Japan. The trip from here to Chicago is a little more than 20 hours. Timezones really confuse me. I wonder how flight attendants get paid. By the hour? Even if the time is going backwards? Hm.

So anyway the flight wasn't bad coming here. It's, like, freezing too. I can't even imagine how Chicago is going to be. Now in the waiting area, listening to k-pop Christmas music. Don't ask. But totally getting into the spirit of Christmas, finally.

So, down the row from me, there's this Vietnamese woman who apparently married this guy from Cleveland in Japan. And they're talking to another Vietnamese woman who is going to the US to meet her husband... Yes, meet, as in for the first time. From my eavesdropping skills, I've gotten that they've only talked online. Okay. Messed. Up. I could legit write a paper on that right now.

Now looking through all of my old pictures. Jeez, I just miss everything so freaking much already. I would say that I held it together fairly well (except for the farewell dinner) up until now. I keep thinking that tomorrow, I'll wake up in my room in Kasiansil and go to the CIEE office and get fruit from the fruit lady outside of U-Center. Or I keep thinking that at the very least I'll at least wake up in Khon Kaen tomorrow. But alas, it's back to the real, non-summer-camp-y world for me. เศร้ามากกกก! :(

I just looked at my wallet and saw American money. It was weird. Kinda all over the place right now. Here goes, 20+ hour flight.

10:41 AM - O'Hare Airport!

Yay, finally in the states!! :D Just gorged myself on a roasted veggie + mozzerella sandwich from the Wolfgang Puck stand with a mango smoothie because it's like 10:41 PM in Thailand, and my body still doesn't realize it's morning here yet. I spent $12, which is the equivalent of 360 baht. Did I mention that I bought almost all of my meals in Khon Kaen for 30 baht or less? $1 = 30 baht, you do the math. But anyway, yeah, I don't really know if the daily value thing really applies to what I'm eating today(ish).

But nonetheless, the states are great. Glad to be back. Though I have to wait here for 3 more hours until I get home, it's nice to be somewhere where the people primarily speak English. It's odd that I suddenly don't look similar to everyone else anymore, and it's also weird that people are driving on the right side of the road. Crap, I'm so screwed. But next stop is home! I'm not gonna lie, I'm pretty friggin excited. Still emotional for sure but excited. :D

10:16 PM - HOME!

I'm home! Will do a last kind of wrap up post sometime for closure. But not now. Because I have jet lag. Night, all. :D