1 month check-in~

I've been here for a month.

...Wow.

It has really felt like a year. Usually, people say that time flies when you're on a program like this. Not so with me. Not that the experience hasn't been awesome, 'cause it has. But the curriculum is filled with times for ~reflection and ~group-led facilitation. So that takes a lot of time, and it really feels like I'm in a business-oriented, corporate meeting whenever we have lectures and briefings about what we're learning about.

These past two-ish weeks have been filled with background lectures on some of the issues that are relevant now (Thai history and politics) and some that we're covering later (human rights, urbanization, globalization). We also found out which units that we're facilitating! I'm doing the units on human rights (in which we will get to go to Bangkok to an all-Southeast Asian conference on the subject) and mining (which I know nothing about)! Yay!

But our very first unit has to do with AGRICULTURE. And farming! And organic farming vs. farming with GMOs/chemical fertilizers! Yeah! They kind of kept us in the dark as to where we're actually going to be going, but I know that we're going to a village as well as the city of Yasothon at some point. To my knowledge, we're going even further East towards Laos. So that's kinda cool.

That's kind of it. Oh, another fun thing: my computer absolutely died. Like, hard drive was dead. So I took it to some random laptop repair shop, and they replaced my hard drive AND gave me Windows 7, Photoshop CS3, and the Microsoft Suite for 1550 Baht, which is about $52ish. So I got a pretty good deal. Unfortunately, now everything's in Thai. I guess that'll be useful in practicing my Thai... Hah.. hah.

Anyway, see you all in a week! :D

Newsletter 1

So as a homework assignment, we're supposed to write an article about, you know, anything that has stricken (?) our fancy so far in Thailand. All of our articles will be compiled into a newsletter that will be sent to our home universities, families, and study abroad offices all over the nation. Here's my first contribution! Yeah!

What is a Farang?

One Thai American's experience with identity

“What's wrong, nong?”

“Nothing... It's just that... I was expecting to host a farang.”

“But I am a farang!”

“... No you're not.”

“... Oh.”

Roughly translated, this was one of the first exchanges I had with my 14-year old host sister who attends Suan Sanuk Municipal School here in Khon Kaen. In Thai, the word “farang” means “foreigner,” or more specifically, “Westerner.” And apparently, I'm not one.

Since arriving in Thailand, I have noticed that it has been nearly impossible to explain to people what being Thai American means. To give a little background, both of my parents were born in Bangkok, Thailand and moved to a suburb of Asheville, NC in their late 20s/early 30s. There, my older sister and I were born and raised; our parents spoke Thai to us throughout our lives, but we never learned how to speak, read, or write in any language other than English. However, we were both excellent at comprehending spoken Thai. In college, my sister studied Thai throughout her entire undergraduate career at Cornell University, and I informally learned the basics of reading and writing Thai through my fellow members of Northwestern University's Thai Club. Prior to this trip, I had returned to Thailand only once – and that was over ten years ago.

In my experience, this seems to be a pretty typical story shared by many second-generation Asian Americans. But it seems as though Thai people can't really wrap their heads around how my background relates to my poor skills in Thai and physical appearance. So far, I have experienced three different reactions from native Thai people I meet for the first time.

1. Khun du muen kohn gowlee/jean: You look Korean/Chinese. Perhaps it was all those years of sitting in my room playing Pokemon on my Game Boy Color, but apparently I'm far too pale to be perceived as Thai. Especially in Northeastern Thailand, where people tend to have darker skin tones, lighter skin tones with an Asian face are attributed to those from China, Korea, and Japan. So when I tell people that I am indeed Asian, they aren't surprised; however, they believe me to be simply kohn Asia, or an Asian, which is very different from a farang. Yet, if I tell them that I have Thai roots, they generally look shocked and then give me a quick look up-and-down, searching for any evidence of whitening cream-use.

And I only assume that this is the meaning behind their up-down because the next question I occasionally receive is, “What brand of whitening cream do you use?” On billboards, television commercials, and posters in 7-Elevens all over Thailand, whitening creams and powders are advertised. Pale, 20-something women with straight, black hair and huge, perfectly mascaraed eyes are pictured holding tubes of cream that promise to make you look like her; popular male Thai drama stars have their faces plastered on postcard-sized pieces of paper which hang off of shelves carrying the cream in convenience stores; and images and videos of top Korean pop idols performing their catchy songs and revealing as much pale skin as possible have completely saturated the Thai entertainment industry. All of these measures are reinforcements for the age-old concept of beauty for Asians, which I personally disagree with: lighter is better.

Evidently, these lighter skin tones are desirable especially among Thai youth. As part of our first homestay experience with the kids from Suan Sanuk, the group made several visits to the school and spent some quality time with the students there. And even during our first encounter, most of the female students squealed and flocked to the most pale members of our group, asking to take pictures with them. Even though they didn't know who we were or why we were there, they simply wanted photographic evidence that they had made contact with a real-life tall, white farang, or at least someone who seems to physically fit their conception of what a farang is.

2. Khun bpen kohn Thai jingjing: You are truly a Thai person. So, even though I have pale skin, people eventually accept that I have Thai ancestry. However, the American part of my identity seems to be problematic for many. In Thai, I asked many of the kids at Suan Sanuk the reasons why they liked the more pale-skinned members of our group. Many of the girls responded, giggling, that it was because a few members of the group looked like characters from Twilight. But for the most part, students of both genders responded that it was because they were farangs. In broken Thai, I told them that I, too, was a foreigner, a Westerner: I explained that I was born and raised in the US, and Thailand is still somewhat foreign for me. Quite conversely, though, many of the kids laughed at me and said, “No, you're not a farang. You're Thai. Just like us.” I thought that perhaps my language proficiency made me think of me as just Thai, but that brings me to the last reaction from people that I meet for the first time...

3. Tamai khun pood pahsaa Thai mai geng?: Why can't you speak Thai well? From what I gather, it's difficult for people to conceptualize a person who seems to be Thai but can't speak Thai very well. When eating at restaurants with the other people in my group, the waitstaff seemingly always speak to me first, and when I can't construct my responses quick enough, they ask me and confirm that I am, in fact, Thai and then walk away, confused. In this way, I might be seen as a farang. However, when I say that I understand Thai, I seem to have Thai-status again, yet many do not understand how that the ability to understand does not necessarily translate to the ability to speak. For example, my host aunt vocalized in Thai to my host sister that she was absolutely baffled as to why I never picked up how to speak Thai from my parents. However, when she realized that I knew exactly what she had said, she was even more surprised and slightly apologetic. Thus, she introduced me to her friend as, “a Thai from America that came back to study at the university,” which implies that she saw my coming to Thailand as a homecoming, and thus, did not see me as a farang, despite my poor speaking skills.

So, what truly goes into the definition of “farang” here in Thailand? There's more to it than having pale skin and poor language ability. And evidently, it has nothing to do with being Thai American.

The kids were presh.

Just herpin' my derp.

14 again: First homestay, part 2

At some point, we visited Wat Nong Wang, which is jokingly called the Eiffel Tower of Khon Kaen. I was able to take two pictures, so here they are!

The next day (Wednesday) was probably my favorite day this week.

N'Tha and I arrived at school via sawng tao as normal again, and we participated in a flag-raising ceremony that apparently happens every morning before school starts. All the kids gathered in the courtyard and did marching band/military-esque lineups, sang the Thai national anthem, and recited some stuff I couldn't understand. Then, we all had to stand in the front of the entire student body and introduce ourselves. There were some fun moments here, but I'll get to them later. So, the schedule said that we had, "Thai Fun Activity I" for 3 hours that morning. Hmm, suspicious.

I met with the rest of the group, and we were led up to a pretty large classroom within the, "Mini English Program," building at Suan Sanuk. About 50 kids filed in through the sliding glass doors, all in the same uniform, signifying that they were all in the same grade. All of our host brothers and sisters were there, as well as representatives from the Urban Youth Organization in Khon Kaen (3 really chipper 20somethings, 2 girls, 1 dude). We started out with some ridiculous hand-holding, get-in-touch-with-your-feelings activities, and we of course did some simple ice breakers. We also did some fun drawing activities in small groups of about 10 people (2 of us CIEE people and 8 kids) where we had to draw a picture of something that represented us. I was drawing some mountains and a lake representing Western NC and Lake Michigan respectively, and my friend's host brother, N'Dong, was drawing a river with, like, a green log on it or something. This kid literally had me rolling on the ground laughing the entire time; he told a bunch of jokes/puns that would only make sense in Thai all while making fun of how badly I speak Thai. Seriously, this kid was awesome.

We ended the session with building boats out of posterboard, a few sheets of paper, some string, some oil pastels, and pingpong balls. It was like OM all over again. Then, we had to name our boats in the form of a 6-syllable rhyme. I don't really remember what my group's was, but it had to do with food. And another group's had the phrase paht fuck in it, like, 3 times. The phrase means to cook or stir-fry a kind of bitter melon, but it obviously sounds, y'know, obscene. We then played a game where each of us said part of a sentence which, in English, goes like, "Sink a ship! Load the gunpowder! Pull the trigger! Bang! Boom! Bang! I want to sink the ship, 'Whatever the name of the opposing group's ship was.'" Out of five groups, my group made it to 3rd place because I messed up; my phrase was, "load the gunpowder!" but it's tongue-twister-y in Thai, so I let my team down. :( But afterwards, we reflected on everything, and these kids were so mature and said so many wise-sounding statements about our time together.

The whole time, I was just surprised at how well these 14-15 year olds accepted this alternative form of education. These activities were meant to teach us that there are other forms of communication other than language (okay, I obviously cheated on this one; I spoke in Thai with the kids the entire time...), though I felt that we were doing it in the most elementary ways possible; for example, when I was in the eighth grade, I don't think I would have wanted to draw and hold hands and share my feelings for 3 hours. Yet these kids stuck it out and really seemed to enjoy our presence and our companionship. Brought tears to my eyes, it did.

Afterwards, we had a 3 hour session with just the CIEE kids, and I went to the hospital. My feet were still swollen and bug bite-infested that I thought I should get it checked out. Thankfully, the doctor said that it was just an allergic reaction and that it might be slightly infected. So she gave me some ointment with antibiotics and steroids so all is well. Mosquitoes are still biting me like crazy, but I've learned to not itch things that itch and to instead slather on some Golden Cup balm or the ointment.

My lifesaver.

N'Tha and I then went to this lake called Bueng Kaen Nakhon and rode bikes. We actually met up with her sister (!!!) and her best friend. Her sister, er, my other host sister, is still my nong, so she went by N'Nam. So, that was weird. Here's a picture of the lake!

That night, nothing particularly exciting happened. The next day, the CIEE group had to attend an exchange with members of TNP+, a nonprofit organization that caters to individuals living with HIV through support and lobbying (for better access to medicine, etc.) efforts. It was a tear-jerking and extremely educational experience. Ask me if you would like to know more.

The next day, we had to leave our host families. :( At Suan Sanuk, there were kids crying and taking pictures and asking for email addresses. They really, really didn't want us to go, for reasons I'll go into later. Baww. :( At Thai that day, though, Ajaan Maliwan gave me some Vietnamese coffee, and it was literally the most delicious thing I've ever had. Ever. And some people in my group decided to go to Central again because one of the girls had to get some sea salt to clean out her new nose piercing that she had gotten at a night market. So I decided to finally get my ears pierced for like, $5. It was a deal, I tell you. A deal.

Today, we went to the Forest Temple for some meditation and group bonding. I know, I know, it's like the forest temple in the Legend of Zelda... But not. Here are some pictures!

So a few more things about Thailand.

You may have been familiar with motorcycles. Thus far, I've been on one with two other teenage girls, wearing a helmet. I've also been on one with my language ajaan, without a helmet. And lastly, I've been on one with 2 17 year old girls and 1 14 year old girl without a helmet. The whole time, I was absolutely terrified. In my mind, I kept picturing the headlines of a Thai newspaper or in my Google Reader, "4 girls die in tragic motorcycle accident, was their own fault."

Also, I mentioned the sawng tao before, the pickup truck that functions as a bus. Not only have I sat in one, but I have also stood on the edge of one before, with cars tailing the truck and almost touching my backside or backpack or what have you.

I've also been in a tuk-tuk going down the highway. Did I mention that the only traffic rules that I've seen has been 1) stop at red lights, and 2) drive on the left side of the road? Yeah. And taxis and most cars don't have seatbelts. D:

Additionally, five things that Thailand should adopt are:

1. Toilet paper,

2. Tissues/napkins

3. Trashcans

4. Easy-to-locate recycling areas

5. Normal toilets. Like, not squat-toilets, which are prevalent in homes around here. I don't want to feel like I'm going to slip and fall butt-first into the toilet if my feet or toilet seat are slightly moist, okay?

Last, if there's anything I've found that are similar about kids in Thailand, it's that they're just as hormonal and ridiculous as teenage girls in the US. At Suan Sanuk, girls were going absolutely CRAZY over my friend Alex, who apparently bears a slight resemblance to Robert Pattinson, but I don't get it. And they also went fangirl-style crazy over the other guys for similar reasons. For example, the first time we had to introduce ourselves during the flag ceremony, Alex goes, "Pom chuh Alex," which means, "My name is Alex," and literally every girl in the courtyard squealed. And they always rushed to take pictures with him and the other guys. Plus, the girls liked to pet one of the other girls on my program's hair, mostly because it was blonde. This is one of the only times where I'm GLAD to finally fit into a society; only some of the kids I was close to wanted pictures with me, and if you know me, I'm totally okay with that and only that. However, N'Dong, who I mentioned before, definitely asked me for my address in the US, my phone number in Thailand and the US, my email address, and... asked me if I had a boyfriend. Yes, a 15-16 year old boy asked me this. I kind of headdesk'd myself when that happened and told him that I wasn't going to pedo over him, but I didn't really communicate it well in Thai. Mostly because I don't know the word for pedo in Thai.

Anyway, tomorrow is filled with Thai class and other random classes. I MISS YOU ALLLLL.

14 again: First homestay, part 1.

Wow. Each week seems longer and longer... It's ridiculous.

Anyway, since I last wrote, I did a whole bunch of things. Unfortunately, my camera ran out of batteries on the first day away from KKU, and I didn't bring my charger... So, I took, like, zero pictures. Sorry. :/ So on Monday, I finally took a tour of the city of Khon Kaen with the rest of my group. We then went to Suan Sanuk Municipal School right here in Khon Kaen to meet our first homestay families! The school, from what I gather, caters to kindergarten-age kids to 15-16 year olds.. I should probably look up the whole Thai education system at some point. Anyway, here's a few pictures provided by their website, since I failed at bringing my camera charger.

The front of the school!

Courtyard area where the kids have recess.

Classrooms, another view of the recess area.

So we awkwardly found our host brothers and sisters through a long process of introducing ourselves in Thai in front of a crowd of chattering children and having our respective family members come up to the front and introduce themselves to us in English. My little sister ended up being the most adorable girl EVER; her nickname was "Tha" which, I'm assuming, comes from the fact that her eyes are gigantic ("tha" is "eye" in Thai. Or grandfather. So yeah). She stood at a height of maybe 4'0", even though she told me that she was 14 years old. In fact, all of the host sisters looked way, way younger than their counterparts in the US, I think. We then took a van ride to their homes, which varied in distance from a short drive to a 1+ hour excursion into the forest. For example, my sister lived in a urban-y area that was a 15-ish minute drive away from the school, whereas the family of another guy in my group lived on a farm on the outskirts of town, and it took him about an hour and a half to get there.

My first night at N'Tha's house was... awkward, to say the least. She told me that she lived with her aunt, uncle, and older sister. For the rest of the afternoon, we watched some awesome Thai dramas and gameshows, and I found KBS World! So she and I watched the episode of "Invincible Youth" (SUBBED IN ENGLISH), while I attempted to summarize what was happening in my broken Thai. It was quite an adventure, to say the least. Then, we decided to do something easy for dinner and cook some ramen (I'm assuming at this point that her aunt and uncle worked late or something). Finally, after taking a shower (okay, it was kind of a shower and kind of a bucket bath, where I had to fill up a bucket full of cold water and pour it on myself. Yeesh), my host aunt and uncle come in. I greeted both of them with a wai and my friendliest "Sawatdee, ka!" and got... nothing. My aunt asked N'Tha who I was and the uncle just walked upstairs without a word. I awkwardly stood there, and then N'Tha told me that she had to do her homework upstairs. I followed her, and then while doing my Thai homework, she asked me to help me with her English homework. Her class was apparently working on superheroes, so I had to try to explain what "invisibility" and "walk through walls" was in Thai to her. But my crowning moment came when I had to explain "burst into flames." I asked if she knew what Pokemon was, to which she replied with an enthusiastic nod of her head. Then, I said, "Charmander. Flamethrower attack," and she went, "OHHHH," and proceeds to write the phrase, "burst into fire" in Thai beside the phrase "burst into flames."

After watching a particularly intense drama (it dealt with the gruesome murder of some ridiculously skinny, pretty woman in skimpy clothes and how her best friend was the one who murdered her. Or something), we decided to go to sleep. On the floor At 9 PM. And we woke up at 6 AM. Hm, I forgot what it was like to be a middle school student. Anyway, I woke up and saw a random girl sleeping in the bed while N'Tha and I slept on the floor. Apparently, this was random 17 year old older sister.

We took a sawng tao into school, which is basically a pickup truck with two rows of seats on either side of it. It functions as a bus here, and here's what one looks like.

Dangerous.

I promptly had to get into the CIEE van after arriving at the school because I had a Thai lesson with another professor, Ajaan Maliwan. She's the official Thai as a Second Language (TSL, f yeah!) professor at the university and usually works with students studying abroad from China. And she's probably the kindest, most warm-hearted people I've ever met. EVER. She told me not to worry about my broken Thai and to just speak, even if it's wrong... And I guess my biggest fear is speaking incorrectly, so in the past, I just never spoke Thai in order to save face. But she told me a story about when she was studying abroad in Australia (SUP BILLIE.) and accidentally asked like, 5 people in her dorm, "Excuse me, where is the chicken room?" when she meant to ask, "Excuse me, where is the kitchen?" You can see how that made me loosen up a little bit. Then, before we even began the lesson, she bought me some kanom, or treats! One was a sushi-shaped paste made out of taro and topped with some gelatinized coconut milk, all wrapped in strips of banana leaves. The other was some fried dough with some filling on the inside that I wasn't able to quite identify. It was absolutely delicious, though. She then told me that her lesson plan was based on listening and speaking, since those would be most practical; so for 3 hours, we spoke in Thai, and if I didn't know a word, she would write it up on the board in Thai, and I would copy it to study later. She even wrote up the karaoke spellings so I would know how to pronounce the words, too! :D

After the lesson, I went back to meet with the rest of the group and had a 5 hour meeting. We all then returned to our homestays, and I actually talked to my host aunt for a bit! That night, she explained that she worked at a nearby open-air market and thus woke up early and came home late at night. The uncle is some sort of businessman, but I didn't catch what exactly he did. Keep in mind that I still haven't met the 17 year old sister that supposedly lived there.

Anyway, this is getting super long. I'll continue it in another post!